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Welcome to the glorious technicolour of summer and human beingness! Have you noticed how your moods and feelings can change in an instant? You receive news (good or bad) someone makes a comment and doiynnggg! a switch inside you flips and suddenly you’re off; depending on the stimulus, you’re bursting with happiness, or into tears or you’re exploding with laughter or rage. Having experienced a roller coaster of emotions myself recently, I wondered what colour mood are you in at the moment? In this issue:
Are you being of service?Have you had days when you felt rubbish? Last week I fell into the trap of comparing myself with other coaches. Feelings of inadequacy crept over me, my gremlin chimed up and kicked the boot. Off I went into the heavy heart spiral where life is viewed from darkened lenses and my mood swung from blue to black. In that spiral I felt angry, then sad, then sorry for myself. In short yucky. I was curious as the feelings refused to budge (or was I holding onto them?). I knew there was learning for me here. I stayed with the uncomfortable feelings and became the observer of myself. In Buddhism it’s called witnessing. After a couple of emotionally uncomfortable days of reflection I went for a walk. I’m blessed living in a beautiful rural Cotswold village, we’re surrounded by fields. At this time of year they’re covered in buttercups, cowslips and wild geraniums. The beauty and constancy of nature is always reassuring and comforting to me. Walking through tall grass and wild flowers put my life back into perspective. What exactly did I have to complain about? I’m loved, by my gorgeous husband, our family and friends: we live in a lovely home, in beautiful surroundings; I am truly blessed. I started to feel brighter and saw that my problem was actually
a challenge. And do you know what? That felt a whole lot
better. It took me a while to work out what was going on. The
cruz of the matter is I feel under used (I would like to have twice
as many clients as I have). I want to be of service and help
more directors and managers reach their potential and live fulfilling
lives. Once I started along this track I realised that I
need to make some fundamental changes to my behaviour – listen
more and empathise. With this insight I moved out of the
cold, drab, grey egocentric depressed place I’d been hanging
around in. I moved into my compassionate heart, here I feel
the warmth of peachy pinks and gold. "I like to see results. I’d rather see it sooner than later. But everything I’ve done I did it the same way and if I want to see new results I have to approach things differently." Busta Rhymes, hip-hop rapper I needed to change the recipe (of how I connect with potential clients) so that I create different results. It really is as simple as that. I want to be in service of others. I want to help MD’s Directors and Managers who are at a crossroads get clear about the way ahead and create the life they truly want. It’s really easy to get hung up on what we see as negative aspects of ourselves or put all our attention on our failings. Concentrating on what isn’t working is absolutely no use! At times like these I think we are better served going back to basics and looking at what we are good at. I made a mental list of everything that IS great about my life, what I have achieved up to now. These are the questions I asked myself that you might like to ask yourself:
One of the important values I have that came out of my soul searching is how much I love to be of service, to feel that I am making a contribution to help others to have happy fulfilled lives. So what is it to be of service? When I realised that service is at the heart of me and that it would be the topic of this newsletter another magical thing happened. I have a daily 15 minute reading agreement. Rather than pick up the book I‘d been reading I picked up Nick Williams book ‘The Work we were born to Do’ and there was a little yellow post it marker that had written on it ‘serve quote.’ Here it is. "We may think we must have achieved perfection before we can be of help to anyone else, and be close to heaven, when in truth all we really need is the willingness to help. We can all serve and we can do it now, it doesn’t require qualifications, cleverness or huge intelligence, just a willingness to open and share our heart." Nick Williams When I come from the desire to be of service amazing things happen. I can forget about being shy; instead I put my attention on those around me and look for what needs doing, who needs help. When speaking in public (which is outside my comfort zone) I concentrate on the people I’m speaking to (rather than on feeling nervous) and make sure I speak loud enough and keep my energy bright so that I’m easy to listen to and everyone can hear me. Being of service helps me to get out of my own way. It can be an ally to being bigger than we think we can be. You might like to ponder on these questions:
I’d love to hear your thoughts on being of service, how you get out of your black holes. Why not drop me an email at maria@creating-results.co.uk Do you dare to be you?Most of us spend a lot of time looking good on the outside whilst feeling inwardly like a frightened rabbit caught in the headlights. It takes courage to be who we are. There is always a risk and the fear of being rejected. I was refused membership of a women’s networking group recently. I think I may have been too loud and proud for that particular group. But hey, there are six billion people on the planet to interact with! I am up for celebrating loud and proud , if you are too please get in touch. I want to encourage us all to be ourselves (in all our technicolour glory noisy and quiet) so we can help and inspire others to be truly, magically who they are too. That’s when the magic of being human and living on this incredible planet happens. It’s when we can have the most fun, being playful and making our BEST contribution. I challenged a client of mine recently to be himself at a job interview. David (not his real name) was fed up of cow towing to his corporate bosses, working long hours and getting home when the kids were asleep (sound familiar?). He wanted to do a good job during office hours then switch off, close the office door by 6.00 p.m. and go home to his wife and family He prepared well for the interview (it was a whole day affair). He visualised himself answering all the questions clearly and confidently. He decided that to feel his best he would go jogging first thing so that he felt energised and alert. Guess what – being himself he scored over 80% (30% higher than the next candidate). Needless to say he got the job and a substantial pay rise. Are you being real or nice?
INSPIRATIONAL QuoteI absolutely love the following quote, it’s fiery flaming red, and passionate. It’s about standing up and being counted, going the extra mile, even when you’re tired, hung over, fed up or any other feeling that gets in the way of you being of service. I first heard it at my friends Terri and Oliver’s wedding. Then another friend read it at my ex husband Chris’s funeral. You may know it, it’s called ‘The Invitation.’ "It doesn’t interest me what you do for a living I want to know what you ache for, and if you dare to dream of meeting your heart’s longing. It doesn’t interest me how old you are I want to know if you will risk looking like a fool for love, for your dreams, for the adventure of being alive…” “It doesn’t interest me what you do for a living I want to know what you ache for, and if you dare to dream of meeting your heart’s longing. It doesn’t interest me how old you are I want to know if you will risk looking like a fool for love, for your dreams, for the adventure of being alive. It doesn’t interest me what planets are squaring your moon…I want to know if you have touched the centre of your own sorrow, if you have been opened to life’s betrayals or have become shrivelled and closed from fear of further pain! I want to know if you can sit with pain, mine or your own, without moving to hide it, or face it, or fix it. I want to know if you can be with JOY, mine or your own; if you can dance with wildness and let the ecstasy fill you to the tips of your fingers and toes without cautioning us to be careful, be realistic, or to remember the limitations of being a human. It doesn’t interest me if the story you are telling me is true. I want to know if you can disappoint another to be true to yourself; if you can bear the accusation of betrayal and not betray your own soul. I want to know if you can be faithful and therefore be trustworthy! I want to know if you can see beauty even when it is not pretty every day, and if you source your life from IT’S presence. I want to know if you can live with failure, yours and mine, and still stand on the edge of the lake and shout to the silver of the full moon, “YES!” It doesn’t interest me to know where you live or how much money you have. I want to know if you can get up after the night of grief and despair, weary and bruised to the bone and do what needs to be done for the children. It doesn’t interest me who you know or how you came to be here. I want to know if you will stand in the centre of the fire with me and not shrink back. It doesn’t interest me where or what or with whom you have studied. I want to know what sustains you from the inside when all else falls away. I want to know if you can be alone with yourself and if you truly like the company you keep in the empty moments. " The Invitation, May 1994 – Orish Mountain Dreamer For more inspiring quotes you might also check out the quotes on my website.
Over To You…How often do you acknowledge your good points? Your inner critic is not interested in them, have you noticed? I don’t happen to think it’s conceited, or self indulgent, to value ourselves. We are much more likely to feel happy, be effective and make a valuable contribution when we appreciate ourselves than when we beat ourselves which leads to feeling less and unworthy. If you don’t value yourself, you’re less likely to like and appreciate other people. Self Coaching TipsIn case you did not make that list of your gifts and strengths and talents, you might like to think of them now. You could jot them down quickly. About You
Being of Service
If the thoughts and feelings expressed in this newsletter have stirred up feelings I would love to hear from you. I’d also love to hear what issues, problems, challenges you would consider paying to have help for. I promise I won’t follow up on any emails you send me (unless you want me to). You would be doing me a huge service as feedback will help me to reach out and connect. It will also help me to know what might interest audiences in future presentations I give.
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Be magical and shine!
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